Dealing With Toxic Masculinity (and Satan’s Little Helpers)

You know the look.

The subtle eye roll, the dismissive tone, the passive-aggressive interruption in the middle of a sentence. I've experienced it more times than I can count—especially from high-level executives. Men who, for some reason, felt the need to undermine me, belittle me, or box me in. And it never happened in private. It was always in front of others—strategically, deliberately—often with the CEO in the room.

These weren’t isolated incidents. This was consistent, deliberate, and done with an air of entitlement, as if bullying had somehow evolved from high school hallways into corporate boardrooms.

And sadly, it’s not just men. Some women, too—those who feel the need to tear down instead of lift up—have played their part. I call them what they are: Satan’s little helpers. There is a special place in hell, I believe, for women who actively sabotage other women.

But why?

Why do powerful executives—both men and women—do this? Are the men threatened? Are the women jealous?

If I’m your sidekick, I’m your pal. But the second I try to be your equal, I become your target. Why? Are you that afraid of competition? My success? Your failure? My intelligence? The fact that I might expose your shortcomings?

What exactly are you so afraid of?

Because when someone in power starts to "bully" a colleague for no valid reason, especially in public, it becomes clear: the bully is not big—they're small. Small in confidence. Small in spirit. And yes, perhaps even small in other areas. (Take that as you will.)

Are they unfulfilled in their personal life? Is it unresolved insecurity, sexual frustration, lack of recognition, or just a deep-rooted fear of being exposed? It could be any of those. It could be all of them.

So what should a woman do?

If she fights back, she risks being labeled "emotional" or "aggressive."If she stays quiet, she risks being seen as weak, a doormat—lower on the corporate food chain.

It’s a lose-lose game.

But here’s what I’ve learned: Respond in the same public setting they tried to humiliate you in. Maintain your professionalism. Keep your cool. Don’t stoop to their level, but don’t let them walk over you either. Correct them, call out their behavior calmly, and close the conversation with authority.

Yes, I tried to take control. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t destroy me inside.

These moments are soul-crushing. Nerve-racking. It's like being on trial, standing in front of a panel of silent judges, trying to prove that you're worthy—not just of your job, but of basic respect.

What these bullies don’t understand is the damage they cause. The way they casually humiliate someone in a meeting might stay with that person for months. Years, even. The anxiety. The tears. The anger. The hatred. They’ll never see it—but we live it.

These people often have no real value to add. So instead, they bring others down. They seek power not by leading, but by distracting. They belittle, sabotage, and manipulate. They act like kings and queens while doing the bare minimum and hiding behind politics when called out.

So here’s my message:

To the women climbing the ladder: You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. And no, you’re not weak for feeling deeply. What’s happening to you is wrong, and it’s real.

I can’t promise it won’t happen to you—because unfortunately, we work with people, and people can be assholes. But I can encourage you to:

• Stand your ground.

• Speak up, even if your voice shakes.

• Be loud but professional.

• Be fierce but composed.

• Be the woman who commands the room with grace and strength, not fear or hate.

You may not always get justice. Don’t expect it. What you can do is leave every situation knowing you held your head high and kept your dignity intact.

Cry later if you have to. Let it out. Talk to someone. Take a walk. Heal. But don't let the small minds take up big space in your life.

And one last thing: Karma’s real. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually, it circles back. That’s not your job to worry about. That’s the universe’s job.

And to everyone reading this:

Don’t be someone else’s “small man” or “Satan’s helper” story. You never know how deeply you might hurt someone—or how long it might take them to recover, if they ever do.

Let’s create workplaces where professionalism, empathy, and support are the norm—not the exception.